Message from the Directors
November 2009
A New Conversation for a New Generation
By Ty Mansfield
The only constant is change, the saying goes. People change; relationships change; attitudes change; languages change; cultures change. This is as true around issues related to homosexuality as it is anything else. And it is as true in the Church of Jesus Christ as it is in our larger host cultures. There are foundational, anchoring Truths, to be sure, but as we progress through application of those Truths, our relationship with them changes—we have a deeper love, a broader appreciation for them. We've changed.
In the same way, the fundamental doctrines of the Restored Gospel regarding the sanctity of marriage and sexual relationship will not change, but how Latter-day Saints engage the changing world around us as we promote those doctrines and values of the Church will. Indeed, we must. Concerning homosexuality, our traditional approaches have been insufficient; we’re losing too many to worldly ideas and philosophies, and that’s something Latter-day Saints can’t afford to not seriously engage. As the prophet Joseph Smith said, “None but fools will trifle with the souls of men” (TPJS, 137).
This begs the question: how have Latter-day Saints changed in how we approach homosexuality, even if our revealed doctrines remain unchanged? And how might we continue to grow if we are to be ever more effective in our Abrahamic commission to proclaim the fullness of the gospel to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, and bring all souls to Christ?
I’d like to explore some ideas here, but I don’t pretend to have all the answers. Rather, I believe there is an important conversation taking place, and the more faithful LDS voices there are willing to engage that conversation, the more quickly we will mature as a community in our capacity to compassionately and effectively minister to those craving love and wrestling for answers. I can speak for all of us in the leadership of North Star when I say that we are unequivocal and unapologetic in our commitment to sustain the Lord’s prophetic witnesses, and I personally believe that such sustainment calls us into an active and innovative role in the evolving conversation around homosexuality. This includes both better serving those who desire to live the gospel as well as spreading the gospel message to all others.
How Have We Been Changing?
Because I’m more interested in where we go from here, I won’t say as much about how I sense Latter-day Saints have been changing. I will say, however, that we’re becoming ever more sensitive in the language we used. Words like “abomination” that are more hurtful than encouraging (particularly to those who are already striving to live gospel standards and are simply trying to make sense of unwanted feelings) thankfully don’t find their way into our culture of discourse as much as they once did.
We’re also more careful in addressing the nuance around this issue. When we talk about “homosexuality,” for example, are we talking about underlying homo-emotional feelings that are natural and can be healthily addressed, sexual or romantic impulses that need to be channeled or controlled, or sexual practices to be altogether avoided or repented of? The word is inherently ambiguous enough that we are becoming more conscious to differentiate what is sin (choices contrary to the Lord’s plan and purposes for His children) from what is simply part of being human in a fallen world—what Paul might describe as “temptation” that is “common to man” (1 Corinthians 10:13)—and for which Christ’s grace is sufficient as we seek to put off the “natural man” and become a saint through Jesus Christ's atonement (see Mosiah 3:19).
When Elder Marlin K. Jensen was interviewed for the 2007 PBS documentary, “The Mormons,” producer Helen Whitney asked him if he felt there had been a change in how Church members have approached the issue of homosexuality. “Yeah, I do,” he replied. “We're more enlightened. We're more accepting in the sense that we understand this is a condition that some people are dealing with and that even if it needs changing or even if it needs controlling, that can't be done without our support, our love, our empathy, our interest in them as people. That's much different, I'm sure, than it was in my youth.”
My own experience is that this support, love, empathy, and interest Elder Jensen speaks of is more spontaneously and abundantly offered than ever before as a collective Church body, and we continue to grow ever more Christ-like in this way. This is a rich blessing and speaks much of who we are as disciples of Jesus. I’m encouraged that those growing up in the Church today will find much more empathy and sensitivity as they seek to understand and respond healthily to their feelings than perhaps those of earlier generations.
Where To From Here?
Even while I’m encouraged by how Latter-day Saints have grown as faith community in our response to homosexuality, I also believe there’s more to be done. The work of Christ goes ever onward. So, what more can we do? Let me first say, again, that I don’t know. But it’s something I think about often. I sense it’s a conversation more and more Latter-day Saints want to have, particularly those of a younger generation. And there are many committed and motivated Latter-day Saints who recognize that some of our traditional approaches have been insufficient, and they are diligent in their efforts to better serve the Lord and His children. What I offer here are some ideas sparked by dynamics I see in the larger Church community that I think could be applied to the conversation around this issue.
Innovation
During the last weekend in October 2009, Boston-area single adults held an Education Conference at which Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve offered a keynote address. The conference theme was “Spread the Word: Innovative Ideas for Sharing the Gospel.” After additional addresses from David Neeleman, founder of JetBlue Airways, and Elder Clayton M. Christensen, a former Area Authority and professor of business administration at Harvard Business School, in which they discussed innovative methods and techniques for spreading the good word, conference attendees broke out into 60 teams to discuss additional ideas. The group ideas were then presented at an ideas fair, and the 10 most popular ideas were presented to the entire conference, including Elder Ballard.
I attended the same conference two years earlier at MIT when Elder Jeffrey R. Holland was the keynote speaker, and I remember vividly the rich collective energy that was present as that group of intelligent, energetic, and committed Latter-day Saints came together for education and spiritual edification. Because of that, I was eager to read the report of what I missed this year, and I couldn’t help but wonder what might come of likewise innovative commiserating around how we as an LDS community might more effectively minister to individuals and families dealing with homosexuality, both to Latter-day Saints actively striving to live gospel standards, as well as to the self-described Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) community at large. Each community has different needs that require unique approach, but both are children of our same Eternal Father, and to address the needs of only one community does a great disservice to the other.
Given that Latter-day Saints have taken seriously our commission to take the restored gospel to the world for nearly 200 years now, and the Lord's apostles are still actively trying to figure out how to be more effective and innovative in that work, it would be terribly naïve for us to think that we’ve got questions around how to address homosexuality effectively figured out. The North Star leadership has been having conversations similar to those addressed above, and for those who are interested in joining us, who have an interest in the mission and success of North Star as a vehicle to accomplish these ends, we formed our Steering Committee. In 2008, we held our inaugural annual Steering Committee retreat near Salt Lake City, Utah. We’ll be holding another during early January 2010. We’d love to have you join us.
Dialogue
For the last several years, a group of LDS scholars, led by BYU religion professor Robert L. Millet, have been involved in a series of intensive dialogues with a group of evangelical Christian scholars, led by Fuller Theological Seminary president, Richard Mouw. In addition, Brother Millet and Reverend Greg Johnson, founder and president of Salt Lake City-based Standing Together Ministries, started a series of private conversations that developed into a deep friendship and subsequent public dialogues, demonstrating an effective model for how people of different belief systems can engage one another in friendship, honesty, and respect for both similarities and differences.
The results of these conversations have been remarkable with regard to the bridges they’ve built between many in our two communities. Clear differences still exist, but we’ve seen how they can be engaged with what President Mouw calls “convicted civility.” In an 2004 event dubbed “An Evening of Friendship” and co-sponsored by Standing Together Ministries and the Richard L. Evans Chair of Religious Understanding at BYU, Ravi Zacharias, a popular India-born Christian apologist, gave a one-hour address in the Salt Lake Tabernacle to a capacity congregation on the "the exclusivity and the sufficiency of Jesus Christ."
In some brief introductory remarks, President Mouw apologized to Mormons for misrepresentation of us by evangelicals. “I am now convinced,” he said, “that we evangelicals have often seriously misrepresented the beliefs and practices of the Mormon community. Indeed, let me state it bluntly to the LDS folks here this evening: we have sinned against you.” He continued, saying, “The God of the Scriptures makes it clear that it is a terrible thing to bear false witness against our neighbors, and we have been guilty of that sort of transgression in things we have said about you. We have told you what you believe without making a sincere effort first of all to ask you what you believe.”
In addition to this Temple Square event, several books have grown out of these dialogues, including How Wide the Divide? A Mormon and an Evangelical in Conversation, A Different Jesus? The Christ of the Latter-day Saints, Claiming Christ: A Mormon-Evangelical Debate, and Bridging the Divide: The Continuing Conversation Between a Mormon and an Evangelical.
While I don’t necessarily suggest anything quite so grand as what’s happened between Mormons and Evangelicals, I’ve wondered what it would be like for Latter-day Saints of intelligence, maturity, and integrity to engage men and women of the LGBT community of like intelligence, maturity, and integrity. Where might we discover that each has born false witness against the other? Because of the clear tensions between many of the beliefs and goals of our respective communities, mutual respect for both common goals and differences would be clarified.
I imagine there are those who would think such an effort futile, but we should not be afraid, I believe, of sincerely opening up our minds and hearts to hear what others have to say—to understand the length and breadth of what it means to be human from the perspectives of others whose mortal experiences, challenges, or beliefs have been different than our own. We need not compromise our revealed doctrines or our inspired convictions in doing so. In fact, it might be in these explorations where we more fully discover the godly heart and divine nature—where we come to know more fully of the Savior's infinite love for each of our Father's children.
Indeed, it was out similar such discussions that the Church decided to publicly declare its support of nondiscrimination regulations that would extend protection in matters of housing and employment to those in the LGBT community in Salt Lake City. Declaring the ordinance as “fair and reasonable,” Michael Otterson, managing director of public affairs for the Church, likewise affirmed that the Church remains “unequivocally committed to defending the bedrock foundation of marriage between a man and a woman.” I stand in full support of the Church’s position on traditional marriage of man and woman, and I was also extremely pleased with the Church’s active support of what can justifiably be termed not "gay" rights and protections but human rights and protections. “I represent a church that believes in human dignity,” Brother Otterson added, “in treating others with respect even when we disagree—in fact, especially when we disagree.” (For additional coverage, see other articles and listen to a radio interview posted to the Church Newsroom blog.)
Compassionate Conviction
With a slight twist on President Mouw’s concept of “convicted civility,” I would like to explore how we might engage with more of what I prefer to call “compassionate conviction.” “Civil” feels a little too sterile for me. In my view, “compassion” captures more of the empathic heart characteristic of followers of Jesus, and we can have empathy and compassion while maintaining full fidelity to our revealed doctrines. Elder Stephen L. Richards of the Twelve (1917-1959) once said while Christ brought the gospel to humanity, it is the duty of His covenant people to bring humanity to the gospel. “I interpret the gospel in terms of life,” he said. “Election, not compulsion is the genious of Christian philosophy. Ridicule and ostracism often amount to compulsion. I deplore their existence. I fear arrogant dogmatism. It is a tyrant guilty of more havoc to human-kind than the despot ruling over many kingdoms. I have pity for the disobedient, not hatred. They deprive themselves of blessings.” (“Bringing Humanity to the Gospel,” CR, April 9, 1932).
Esteemed Christian author Philip Yancey has written, “The more unsavory the characters, the more at ease they seemed to feel around Jesus. People like these found Jesus appealing: a Samaritan social outcast, a military officer of the tyrant Herod, a quisling tax collector, a recent hostess to seven demons. In contrast, Jesus got a chilly response from more respectable types. Pious Pharisees thought him uncouth and worldly, a rich young ruler walked away shaking his head, and even the open-minded Nicodemus sought a meeting under the cover of darkness… Somehow we have created a community of respectability in the church. The down-and-out, who flocked to Jesus when he lived on earth, [don’t] feel welcome. How did Jesus, the only perfect person in history, manage to attract the notoriously imperfect? And what keeps us from following in his steps today?” (The Jesus I Never Knew, 147-48). Jesus never compromised Truth, and yet he was the very embodiment of Divine Love.
While Yancey is referring to the broader traditional Christian church, I wonder if a similar dynamic isn’t occasionally at play within the restored Church. Might we at times create a “community of respectability”? A community in which people feel unsafe to approach with authentic vulnerability those who have covenanted “to mourn with those that mourn...and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:8-9)? Even some who are unequivocally committed to the gospel have been demonized and vilified by fellow believers as they’ve spoken out on issues regarding homosexuality. I’ve experienced some of this myself by well-meaning but misguided Latter-day Saints.
Another friend of mine, as he contemplated how open he should be when sharing his personal story as a faithful Latter-day Saint dealing with these issues, told me, “When I made the final decision to use my real name, knowing the potential for backlash, I decided that there is a war being waged and our side is losing while the gay rights organizations are winning. We are losing because people like me feel the need to hide and pretend. I pretend not out of fear of the gay rights organizations; I pretend out of fear of the negative reaction I will get from people in the Church.”
There is something clearly problematic in our approach to this issue when committed disciples can’t share their authentic witness of Christ, telling their personal stories, without fear of backlash and retribution from fellow believers. Both compassion without conviction and conviction without compassion will lead us away from the heart of faith in Jesus Christ. (See also Elder Dallin H. Oaks recent General Conference address, "Love and Law.")
In order for Latter-day Saints effectively succor and minister to those who experience same-gender attraction, to bring humanity to the gospel, they need to first spend time with them, feeling their humanity. I believe Christ's life and ministry model for us what we, in small way, are likewise called to do. Christ took upon Him flesh and “descended below all things” (D&C 88:6), "tak[ing] upon him [our] infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:12). Irenaeus, a second-century bishop of Lyons, said it this way: God became man so that men might become gods (see Against Heresies, Bk 5, preface). Only by becoming flesh, by walking in our shoes, so to speak, could the Savior of mankind teach men how to conquer our own flesh and become joint-heirs with Him of all the Father has and is.
We must walk with men and women, learning to love them where they are, before we can have eyes to see and ears to hear their true needs, and how the gospel might best be applied to serve and lift them to where we believe God wants them to be. Shouting dogma from the safety of the sidelines while men and women are being wounded on the front lines is simply not Christ’s way.
In addition to getting into the hearts and minds of men and women who share their real, lived experience, LDS writer Jonathan Langford has authored a masterful fictional narrative in No Going Back. “Fiction has tools for getting inside the minds of characters,” he explained, “showing them in a more complete context while exploring the variations and possibilities of human experience.” The novel gives readers a window into the inner workings of the heart and mind of an LDS teen who struggles to reconcile his faith and his sexual feelings in a modern culture that’s vastly different than the one most of us grew up in. As I wrote in an endorsement of the book, it “brings to life through narrative what I imagine will be the struggle of many youth growing up in today’s evolving culture around gay issues. Parents, friends, priesthood leaders, and peers are all a critical part of how we negotiate our sense of self-identity and life choices, and this story is masterful in how it brings to life all the tensions associated with that process.”
While the book doesn't always paint a picture around this issue as we hope it would be, as an ideal, the story resonated with me as a markedly realistic and candid portrayal of the potential conflicts our next generation of LDS youth will face, particularly those growing up in communities where Latter-day Saints or other conservative faith groups are a minority—a rapidly growing proportion of Church membership. The more we as a community fully acknowledge that potential reality, the better we'll be equipped to meet our youth where they are and minister to them with the resources we hope might help them along a gospel-centered path.
Finally, beyond to those who are committed members of the Church, there are those outside the Church (or who are choosing lifestyles that prevent full fellowship in the Church) who are likewise in need of a more loving and compassionate ministry. The Lord’s prophets have demonstrated healthy attitudes we might cultivate as we strive to minister more effectively. The prophet Joseph said, “If I esteem mankind to be in error, shall I bear them down? No! I will lift them up and [each] in his own way if I cannot persuade him my way is better!” (The Words of Joseph Smith, 229).
The prophet’s nephew, President Joseph F. Smith, later offered words of a similar spirit in a letter to his missionary son. “Kindness will beget friendship and favor,” he wrote, “but anger or passion will drive away sympathy. To win one’s respect and confidence, approach him mildly, kindly. No friendship was ever gained by an attack upon principle or upon man, but by calm reason and the lowly Spirit of Truth. If you have built for a man a better house than his own, and he is willing to accept yours and forsake his, then, and not till then, should you proceed to tear down the old structure. Rotten though it may be it will require some time for it to lose all its charms and fond memories of its former occupant. Therefore let him, not you, proceed to tear it away. Kindness and courtesy are the primal elements of gentility” (From Prophet to Son, 42-43).
Conclusion
What I’ve presented here has simply been some of my reflections—my own inner workings—on how we as Latter-day Saints have grown and will continue to grow and change in our response to homosexuality. I would heartily disagree with critics of the Church’s stated positions who believe it will eventually change to accommodate same-sex sexual or romantic relationships as Divinely sanctioned options. As world cultures evolve, however, and as homosexuality continues to be normalized in increasingly secularized societies, Latter-day Saints will find themselves needing to engage new conversations with new, innovative approaches for spreading the message of the restored gospel. Fresh and faithful minds and voices will be required to engage those conversations in ways that will make a difference. North Star is committed to being a part of those conversations, and we invite you to join us.