Feature Article

But If Not... | MP3
Elder Dennis E. Simmons
Of the Seventy
Ensign, May 2004

Learning Faith
A Personal Introduction to "But If Not..."
By Ken Feitz

"Men accomplish marvelous things by trusting in the Lord and keeping His commandments—by exercising faith even when they don't know how the Lord is shaping them," said Elder Dennis E. Simmons.

For my whole life I have dealt with, or rather denied, same-gender attraction. It was not until I reached a crisis point that things began to change. It took great courage for me to approach my Bishop. I knew the consequences that were ahead of me and it would not be easy. I remember a prayer I said shortly after speaking with my Bishop about my attraction. In essence, I prayed for more faith.

Heavenly Father did not teach me faith, but took this opportunity to teach me another important lesson. Answers are not just given. We are given opportunities to find the answers. So in answer to my prayer for more faith, I was given the opportunity to learn to have more faith. Since then, so many things have happened to increase my faith—not in the way I expected, but in the way Heavenly Father designed. My faith has grown as Heavenly Father has helped me along a difficult path.

Recently my friend and former Bishop saw me wavering in faith and sent an address by Elder Dennis E. Simmons, entitled "But If Not...," delivered at General Conference in April 2004.

This talk has helped remind me what faith truly is. As Elder Simmons said, "Faith is not bravado, not just a wish, not just a hope. True faith is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ—confidence and trust in Jesus Christ that leads a person to follow Him."

This talk reminded me that God has a reason for everything, and He doesn't always necessarily let us know why.

Will I ever fully resolve my same-gender attraction in this life? I hope so, "but if not...," then there is a divine reason.

Will my ex-wife and I ever be together again? I still love her, "but if not...," then there is a purpose.

Will I ever understand my attractions and feelings and love for a dear same-sex friend? I want to, "but if not...," then so be it.

As much as we might think we are in charge of our own lives, our Heavenly Father has a vision that exceeds our own. We have to realize our need for the Savior, Jesus Christ. As Elder Simmons said, "Faith is believing that although we do not understand all things, He does. Faith is knowing that although our power is limited, His is not. Faith in Jesus Christ consists of complete reliance on Him."

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