PARENTS & FAMILY GROUP
Application to Join
Please read the following commitments and then fill out the application below.
North Star sponsors a variety of private Facebook groups intended to provide a confidential, safe, and moderated forum in which you can offer and receive support in your efforts to faithfully and healthfully live the gospel of Jesus Christ.
As interest, need, and activity level evolve, these groups are subject to change. If there is a particular demographic for which you feel a group would be beneficial, please let us know. If there is sufficient interest, we will consider creating such a group.
Commitments & Terms
You will be asked to agree to several commitments for the group you have requested to join. Additional information may be presented to you as well. This is critical for you to understand as a member of these communities. It is important to maintain a safe, loving, helpful atmosphere, hence the requested commitments.
AFFIRM THE DOCTRINES AND TEACHINGS OF THE CHURCH
North Star fully supports the doctrines and teachings of the Church related to the appropriate bounds of romantic and sexual expression - specifically that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children,” and that “God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.” We also affirm the teachings of modern prophets that “Each [person] is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and…[that] gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”). Posting content or arguments that undermine Church doctrines and teachings—particularly those concerning the sacred and eternal nature of sexuality, gender, marriage, and the family—or dissuade members from keeping covenants is strictly prohibited.
You will keep all content, names, and personal information strictly confidential. You will obtain permission before forwarding, discussing, or summarizing messages here with anyone who is not a member of this specific discussion group, including spouses or other family members. For family members, when discussing your situation or experiences, please be mindful of the stated desire for privacy and anonymity of those loved ones for whom you wish to be a support. Many men and women who experience same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria also experience high levels of anxiety about their feelings being known to others. As such, we encourage sensitivity to those feelings and to maintain the level of confidentiality and anonymity for your loved ones that they wish to maintain for themselves. Be mindful of confidences when posting the same message across multiple groups (cross-posting).
DEMONSTRATE APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR IN PUBLIC AND PRIVATE
I commit to appropriate behavior in both public and private. Sexually explicit materials are not allowed, such as graphic descriptions of sexual experiences, nude or erotic images, or coarse, vulgar, or offensive language. Any private acting out between people who have met through this group or at any event advertised through this group will be grounds for removal. You must notify group moderators immediately if approached by any current or former group member for any inappropriate behavior, which includes any sexually-based behavior or threatening/violent behavior or language. Please be prepared to forward the conversation to the moderator word for word if possible. Failure to disclose knowledge of such activities may be grounds for removal from this group. These commitments apply to posts and comments made openly to the group and in private messaging.
ADHERE TO STANDARDS OF ONLINE ETIQUETTE
I commit to adhere to the norms of online etiquette. ALL CAPS is generally perceived as yelling. Use sparingly. Respect other people’s time. When you post to a discussion group, avoid posting frivolous content. While posts that foster community can be appropriate, please avoid light-minded posts that distract from others’ need/requests for support. Please be respectful of the fact that our Facebook groups have people of various ages, sexual orientations, gender identities and ethnicities. Avoid using terms that may be perceived as insulting or belittling. Review your message before you hit send. Although this is a confidential environment, once something has been posted, there is no way to retract it, so think carefully about the content of your message. Also, grammar and spelling errors make it difficult for your audience to read, so please re-read your messages before posting them.
BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN WELL-BEING AND RESPECTFUL OF OTHERS
I commit to take responsibility for my own well-being and be considerate of the group. This group is not a substitute for personal therapy nor is it a journal or weblog. If you are in a place of trauma in your life or marriage, please seek out professional help. Posting vague requests for support or “cries” for help or rescuing can cause the group to feel powerless. Please be specific with your requests and clearly focus your requests on how folks might meet your needs. Please speak only for yourself and only about your own experience, feelings, and beliefs using “I-statements” wherever possible; never use “you should” statements. Avoid giving unsolicited advice. This is not a place for sarcasm, shaming, name calling, blame/fault finding, demands/threats, or correcting others. Leave correction and conflict resolution to the moderation team.
BE SENSITIVE TO OTHERS’ FEELINGS AND OPEN TO DIVERSE EXPERIENCES
For this group to remain a safe place for everyone, especially those who are new to this community, we need to be kind to one another. We expect that all who post messages will do so with an attitude of love and friendship. Heartfelt discussion is encouraged. Disagreement, debate, and bantering are welcome, so long as they remain respectful and friendly. Avoid contention, insults, and unkind criticism. Outside of a few clear, gospel-centered values, many viewpoints and opinions are represented here. You cannot expect or insist that everyone will automatically share yours. If you disagree with a post, you have two options: ignore it or reply with your own experiences without diminishing others feelings or experiences. Ask yourself, “What is it like to be on the other side of this scenario?” Remember that there is a real person on the other end of whatever you put out there. Some members of this group may struggle with their testimonies or with homosexual behavior. Please be willing to offer support to strengthen their resolve to live the gospel. Approach differences with an open mind, kindness, and humility and allow each individual the privilege of a safe environment to seek support to live the principles of the gospel.
STANDARDS REGARDING DISCUSSING OR PROMOTING OTHER GROUPS, ACTIVITIES, WEBSITES, PUBLICATIONS OR POLITICAL ADVOCACY
I commit to support North Star’s mission. You may only post about or discuss groups, activities, websites, or publications whose ideals or content are in harmony with the core values and teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - whether from secular or religious sources. Events or resources referenced must be explicitly and exclusively supportive of the values and behavioral standards of the Church. All events or resources must be approved by a moderator before posting. Please give the moderators plenty of time for review. While North Star supports the doctrines and teachings of the Church relative to marriage, family, and the appropriate bounds of sexuality, we are not a political advocacy organization and posts of this nature are out of line with the mission of North Star and may not be posted. Moderators may remove any post at any time if found to conflict with North Star’s mission and purpose. When in doubt ask a moderator first.
You are now ready to enroll as a member of the North Star Facebook groups. All information you provided above is for moderator reference only and will be kept strictly confidential. These Facebook groups are private (in Facebook terminology, they are actually characterized as “Secret” groups. This means that unless you are a member of a particular group, you cannot see any posts, who is or is not a member of this group, or see that the group itself even exists. Joining this group, or posts that are made in the group do not appear on your wall nor on the news feed of anyone who is not already a member. We recognize how important your privacy and confidentiality are as you begin to address these issues and as you make connections with others in the North Star community. Given the personal nature of Facebook and the amount of vulnerability involved, to join any of our Facebook groups it is required that you use your real name and identity. Profiles set up under pseudonyms are NOT allowed in our Facebook groups.